Some lame jokes to cheer anyone up...

I got these from this website, but I just wanna post some for fun :)

"Your Husband Gets Double!" This woman's husband was cheating on her. The woman and her husband got a divorce and the woman went on with her life hating her ex-husband. One day she found a beautifull lamp lieing in the streets. She picked it up and rubbed it a little bit. Suddenly, a geenie popped out of the lamp! The geenie said that it would grant her 3 wishes & that with every wish her husband it get the same thing only double!

So, the woman thinks of a first wish...
"I want to be rich!!!"
So, the woman became rich, and the husband became twice as rich!
So, the woman thinks of a second wish...
"I want to be beautiful!!"
So, the woman became beautiful, and the husband became twice as beautiful.

"Okay", the geenie says. "This is your last wish so be carefull what you wish for!"

The woman thinks real hard and finally comes to a desision.
"I Want You To Scare me HALF To Death!!"

"Bill Gates in Hell!" Shortly after Bill Gates was killed in a freak accident, he found himself being sized up by Saint Peter. "Bill, this is a tough call. You've made great technological advancements with Microsoft, but you've also given us Windows 95. I think I'm going to let you choose between Heaven and Hell."

"That sounds fair," Gates replied. "May I have a look at hell first?"

And so first Saint Peter took him to Hell.

"This is hell? Wow, look at all those gorgeous women, the ones that laughed when I asked them out on dates in high school. And look at those mansions!" exclaimed Bill.

"And see all those coders? They work 24 hours a day for free just because they really love you, Bill, and live only to please you."

"Shazam, this is all virtual, isn't it, Saint Peter?"

"Yep. With no bugs, Bill."

"If this is hell, what can heaven be like?"

(Saint Peter makes sweeping gesture) "Like this!"

"People wearing robes and playing harps while they sit on clouds? What a boring cliche. I'll take Hell!" replies, Gates.

And so two weeks later, St Peter paid a little visit.

"Hey what the hell's going on? It's nearly 200 degrees and the air is terrible. There's no food or drink. Goblins jab me in the ribs constantly. I'm crawling with vermin and weak with disease. They play the Beastie Boys at all hours, for all eternity. There are NO COMPUTERS! Where are the women, the program slaves, the virtual wonders? Where is the splendid hell you promised me?" cries Gates.

"Oh that, that was just a demo..."

"Is the Dog Dead?!" A woman took her dog to the vet "Doctor," she said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move.
"Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor.
"How much do I owe you?" the lady asks.
"$345," says the doctor.
"$345!!?" the lady asks.
"Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."

"The Sin of Lying!" A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

Btw, I think this joke somewhat relates to us, don't you think?? I'm laughing in my head while pasting all these jokes...